


Hey I know i've been a lil bit off

by LilJiji



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 3racha are in love, Alternate Universe - College/University, Getting Together, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Hwang Hyunjin, Pining, Polyamory, Roommates, Seo Changbin is Whipped, chan is loved lots, more like, not really - Freeform, polimorous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27992931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilJiji/pseuds/LilJiji
Summary: Chan has trouble sleeping. Nothing new. What’s new is that he likes to try to sleep with a specific type of songs. Jisung, his roommate, makes music with another friend, Changbin, and they both compose pretty well so Chan sometimes gets to sleep with his music out loud in his room. Till it’s not enough. Cuz their voices are prettier in real life.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Han Jisung | Han/Seo Changbin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Hey I know i've been a lil bit off

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started this fic at the beginning of 2020 but never got the time to write it so finally it's done.  
> 

Chan is sleep deprived again, and that isn't news to anyone. He just couldn't close an eye at night. Eventually he'd work on something or organize his shitty stuff to do. It's like his life was a bad movie since there and now that he can actually have a little bit of peace, his head is kind of a mess.

Since his parents decided to divorce, shit with his little brothers went worse. They had to find a new house, one in which they could bring their dog. He had to go to live alone, leave his mom and brothers, find a job, try to finish college and maybe get to live his dream.

When he first got in his new house, one year ago, he felt a new chapter start. He needed a job, that he really found quickly, but he did not gain that much. It was fine tho, he always could count on his roommate, even if both of them had no money whatsoever.

Chan knew he had no chances to make come true his big dream, but never actually gave up, and when he met his roommate, he just couldn't stop thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could at least try.

Han Jisung was a very soft boy, always sweet with him and their other friend, Changbin, and also, really funny. He made his laugh the reason people smiled when with him. Chan was very thankful for that, especially since he taught him what kind of person he truly is. He was so lucky to have him in his life and help him on terrible days, distract him, taking his hands into his, calming him down. Jisung was the first one to tell him he could speak to them about anything anytime. Chan’s really relived in a way he did not even realize at first. He has found himself an angel, actually two.

Chan’s roommate is a sweet boy for sure, three years younger but pretty much on his feet. He likes composing and writing music and he is really trying to make a carrier out of it. Chan admires him for it, and Changbin as well. And he likes to hear them sing the most. Jisung has a guitar in their apartment and he usually, after work, plays something at it. It’s so soothing that Chan sometimes feels like a calming wave hit him.

That day was not supposed to be different but it kind of is.

First of all because his workplace made him feel hell on earth all night and now that he’s home, he doesn’t have energy to do much. Jisung’s been busy with university essays and other music stuff and they didn’t really see each other much the past days.

He doesn’t even want to eat much, he ate enough at work anyways. He just wants to take a shower and listen to Jisung play from the room next to his a little more and try to sleep.

He noticed how, the last days, sleeping with their music on repeat helped him at least relax in his bed but these days Jisung told him he plays some music late at night and Chan encouraged him to do so. Now, he can listen to him play till at least 3am and try to get some sleep, hoping to fall asleep completely right after.

The thing is that Jisung and Chan, and Changbin, are pretty close but his new shift at work keeps him from going out much and see each other. Changbin even has the key to their flat because sometimes the two work till Chan gets home.

It seems Jisung is alone tonight so he passes his door to say hi and leave him work while he tries to get comfortable in his bed. There is another problem though.

Chan has a crush on his roommate. The blond boy is so sweet with him it’s almost impossible not to fall for him. And they cuddle a lot. So yeah, it sort-of happened. Changbin as well is very sweet to him and Chan is afraid he might have some vague feelings for him as well.

Listening to their voices when they sing is literally the best but tonight is not enough. He just can’t relax today. It was a shitty day and all the wanted was peace, but he can’t have it. So, he stays in his bed a little more and then stands up.

When he gets to Jisung’s door, he debates a little with himself if knocking or not.

But in that instant Jisung opens it. And looks at him with big eyes. That big soft droopy eyes that made Chan skip a beat when he first met them a year ago.

“Channie, something happened?” Jisung says, almost scared. “You wanna come in?”

Han’s voice sounds a little worried, and only then Chan realizes he kind of got there and doesn’t remember how. He may or may not be panicking now and Jisung noticed it with just a glance while Chan is still confused. He doesn’t get that tired usually but it’s been a rough week and the sleep he got was so little that he has no energy to open his mouth and communicate with words. But Jisung has to be his usual self and get him instantly and make him fall even deeper.

Chan nods and Jisung lets him get in his room, turning the lights on and getting him some water.

Chan sits on his big chair and drinks, he’s feeling hot all of a sudden. Jisung’s hand is on his back, stroking it softly.

“You’re feeling better?” Jisung’s sweet voice makes him relax a little.

He hums and looks him in the eyes. He’s royally fucked. He is so in love. He is so hopelessly in love with his roommate and wants to kiss him, but he can’t. And he won’t dare think of it.

“You need something?” Jisung’s now at his feet, on one knee, softly caressing the back of his hand.

“I can’t sleep.” He admits, surprised he can even speak while maintaining eye contact.

“You want to sleep here, then?” Jisung’s voice is like honey, and Chan wants to swallow it all till he’s satisfied but can’t. And won’t dare think about it.

And the question makes his heart jump in his chest. Not like it’s the first time they get to sleep together in the same bed, especially at Changbin’s place, but his _new_ romantic feelings added a sprinkle of _not good_ to the whole typical situation.

Chan pretends to think about it, even if the answer is already on his lips.

“If it’s not too much for you.” Decides to say.

“Of course not.”

Jisung first helps him get up then sit in his bed, Chan’s legs shaking a little.

“You can still work tho, if you need to finish.” Chan says after getting under the blanket. The blanket that has Jisung’s smell, the one Changbin gave him the day he got his first song done.

“But–”

“I like to listen to your songs.” He cuts him off, smiling a little.

“Ok then, big baby.” Jisung ruffles his hair and goes back to his desk, already playing some music and arranging the song.

At some point Chan actually gets sleepy, and Jisung places his guitar down, Chan’s last image before closing his eyes being the younger playing.

Jisung looks at Chan’s peaceful face, lips a little pursed, his hair strands all over his pillow. He changes into his pajamas and makes himself some space in his bed near the elder. Chan moves in his sleep, letting Jisung scoop closer to him and hug him.

.

Chan is the first to wake up, Jisung’s legs over his, tangled together. Jisung looks perfect in his arms. Like perfect for him, and Chan feels good to have him there, and be in his bed. Jisung’s hair is all over his face, it’s really growing too much, and now that he got back to blond, he looks even better. His face is so cute, head over his shoulder – how did they even end up in that position? – and his cheeks are so squishable.

He wants to pay more attention to him but he realizes there’s someone else in the room and they’re typing fast on Jisung’s laptop.

“Changbin?”

The other turns.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”

Chan’s throat is dry but he still manages to choke on his spit at that.

Changbin laughs and stands up, giving him some water that Chan drinks trying to not move too much to not wake Jisung. He probably stayed up till 3am to finish a song.

“You’re ok?” Changbin’s voice is a little strained, maybe he stayed up all night to sing too, judging by his eyes as well.

Chan nods, yawning.

“Jisung told me to come when I wake up to take some files but I’m gonna go prepare breakfast for both now so, take your time waking him as well.” Changbin passed his hand through Chan’s black hair smiling. “Hyunjin’s going to see a new apartment these days and I’m kinda lonely too, I have nothing to do.” He says and opens the door, Chan looking after him till he can’t see him anymore.

He wants to get up of that bed but with Jisung all over him it seems impossible if he doesn’t wake the boy first. So, he does exactly that, slowly and sweetly. Jisung whines and yawns, stretching his limbs, then smiles at Chan who smiles back.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

Jisung chuckles and presses his palm on Chan’s forehead.

“That’s good.” His hand travels now to his scalp, that he scratches lightly, cooing at Chan’s reactions. The older relaxes in his touch, sighing softly and Jisung’s hands go down to the back of his neck. Chan closes his eyes, completely mush in Jisung’s arms and leans on him completely. At least for like five minutes, because both are hungry now and their stomachs get demanding.

“Let’s go eat, Changbin’s already here, right?” Jisung asks while Chan gets up and nods.

The breakfast on the table looks so delicious that Chan almost salivates at the sight of it. Changbin laughs a little, petting his hair and they all three start eating, both boys giving Chan so much attention and encouraging him to speak about his day, his work. Chan feels loved. So much loved from both. They really take care of him in special ways, not asking for anything in return, not that Chan was so passive anyways. He loves them as much, and is grateful every day.

But something in his heart begins to sting. Like the love he shows is different. Like he somehow feels a betrayal of their love for him. Because Chan, well, he in love. And it’s becoming so evident that it will take little time for them to notice as well. And reject him. Chan is a little scared of rejection, not that much but enough to worry now. It kind of hurts there, in his chest, when Jisung’s hand lingers longer in his hair or Changbin’s leans closer to him. And if he was ok with this feeling in the past, now it’s becoming too much, it starts to hurt for a little too much for a little too long. And he can’t stop thinking about it. How is he even going to hide what he feels now? With his heart beating like crazy for the tiniest of connection, for the slightest of attention?

He doesn’t know so he lets the worry drop for now. Maybe if he acts like usual, they won’t notice.

When they both go to work, leaving Chan alone at least for seven hours alone (on his free day), he gets panicked again. Not in a way that he requires a doctor – more like a love doctor, if there are any – but in a way, that he tries to distract from thinking about them and can’t.

He gets a flustered mess when the two are involved. The way they take so much care of him, with little things. And he can’t even distract too much.

Going back to have lunch, he sees flowers in a vase he didn’t even remember he had.

 _Changbin_.

He loves flowers so much and Changbin knows and brings them sometimes. This time dahlias and forget-me-nots.

And when he goes to take a shower he sees clothes already there. A big hoodie and comfy pants.

_Jisung._

Jisung was the one that loved to put things in order, Chan lets him organize almost everything – except for the kitchen because Jisung is messy there and gets bored cleaning – in their apartment, even his own wardrobe.

When he opens the fridge, he finds a piece of cake.

_Changbin._

When he goes to his room, he finds a full bottle of water.

_Jisung._

His place is full of them, and usually he loves it but now that he wants to distance himself from them it feels so overwhelming. Although, he won’t blame them for it. He’s the one that caught feeling, he has to deal with them.

And his terrible way to cope with it is to isolate himself from them. Act more detached. And that’s what he does when Jisung comes home… for like five minutes. Because Jisung makes him feel well, at ease with himself and he can’t stay without him for too long.

But sleeping without him, well that’s more difficult than he thought it could get.

Their music is no consolation and he doesn’t really get sleep that night.

And the next too. Till it becomes too much again.

Jisung and Changbin both are worried because they didn’t see him for almost 24 hours now. That’s also because Chan closed himself in university work and his job. And Jisung didn’t see him at lunch or dinner. And Chan is brushing the situation away, not answering his questions and just saying he is fine and is stressed.

When Changbin comes to their place the next night, Chan is in his room, door closed.

And after speaking with Jisung, they both decide to knock and speak with him.

The music coming from his room sounds familiar, something they worked on for sure.

Chan is not answering though. But the volume lowers suddenly and they hear him move around.

Jisung decides he has enough of being ignored and knocks hard another couple times before entering, Changbin’s about to protest but when he sees Chan standing at the door, goes to him immediately.

Chan looked more tired than usual, with darker patches under his eyes and the music is still so loud.

Jisung as well is next to him in an instant, patting his head.

“Channie…” he starts, Chan letting out a puff of air at his name being said so sweetly by the blond “…what’s the matter?”

Chan does not trust his voice at all. But he knows what happens pretty well because he kind of caused it to himself. He is in love, he doesn’t want to acknowledge it, he is scared, and he ignored Jisung and didn’t really answered Changbin’s messages. He also hasn’t eaten a lot and for sure he didn’t get much sleep in a couple nights.

But he missed the suffocating sensation of Jisung’s presence. The love he gets from him just standing near him and taking care of him and letting Chan take care of him as well. He missed it the most.

And Changbin’s voice as well. it’s been almost two days since he heard it. And is getting to his head.

“Channie, please tell us if something happened.” Changbin’s sweet tone goes straight to his legs and he wants to sit down “Did we do something wrong?”

“No!” Chan says loud, he doesn’t even know where that voice comes from. And now that Jisung stopped the music, he hears himself so flustered.

Jisung and Changbin look at each other a little and Changbin places himself in front of Chan, giving him his back.

“Hop here.” he says and Chan is too tired to refuse so he does as he is said and Changbin takes him to Jisung’s room, he other following them. Changbin’s really strong – Chan had time in the past to see it with his eyes – and he places Chan on the bed, Jisung sitting next to him, still petting his hair lightly.

“Channie, does it hurt somewhere?”

Chan groans, shaking his head. He hates to lie to them. Hates to not tell them the truth but again, if they end up hating him or rejecting him… he doesn’t want to think about it. So, he squeezes his eyes shut.

“Do you feel not good?”

Chan nods, eyes still closed while Jisung passes his hand through his hair.

Changbin sits next to him as well, one hand on his shoulder.

“Sleep deprived?”

Chan knows Changbin can look through him to know it’s not just that, but pretends it is and nods again.

Changbin places one hand on his chest, pushing him slightly on Jisung’s big bed.

“I…”

“Breathe Channie, it’s ok, you’re just exhausted.” Jisung says, getting his cozy blanket from the big basket near the bed.

“I can’t sleep if I’m not listening to music…” he starts, face flushed red almost “… _your_ music.”

The two exchange a look and Jisung chuckles “Want us to sing you to sleep?”

Chan hums again, ears red and hiding his face in the pillow.

And that’s exactly what Changbin and Jisung do, they start singing one of their songs and humming softly at some parts, all three of them under the blankets and playing with his hair.

Chan doesn’t even know how but his body becomes heavy and his eyes can’t stay open anymore, but he figures it’s expected since their voices calm him the most.

.

When Chan opens his eyes, Jisung is looking at him, a deep frown on his face.

“It just hurts me to see you’re suffering and not speak to me.” Jisung says after a while, softly.

Chan is taken aback by that but he knows he hurt him.

“I can tell it’s something you need time to, but still,” he continues “I miss you a lot, it’s like you’re not yourself anymore.”

He finds some courage to speak now, because between being rejected and hurting Jisung, the second is definitely worse. So, Chan holds his hand, takes a deep breath and speaks.

“I like you.”

Jisung looks at him, blinking simply “I do too.”

“No Jisung” Chan says again, “I _like_ you.”

“And I do too.” Jisung says back, his expression the same.

“Sung, I’m pretty sure it’s different,” he doesn’t even know how he can be this bold, but it’s too late anyways so at least he can actually explain it for him and get it over with, “I am falling for you, I like _like_ you.” he says impatient, not even shy anymore.

“And for the third time Channie, I like you too.” Chan blushes at that, he looks so flustered, but still a little unsure, he cocks an eyebrow at him and Jisung laughs and takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“I.am.in.love.with.you.” he says, stressing each word “I wanna be your boyfriend, I wanna date, I wanna kiss, make out, I want to sleep with you and hold your hand and have sex with you afd tfll y–” he muffles the rest because Chan’s hands are now covering his mouth to make him stop talking before becoming a deeper shade of red – if that may even be possible.

Jisung’s attempt to laugh at that buzzes in Chan’s palm and it tickles but he still doesn’t want to remove it –actually he has no power left in his body to move whatsoever for now. Jisung kisses his palm and removes it himself, then kisses it again, this time looking at him with fond eyes. Eyes Chan can see only peeking from his eyelashes, cuz he still doesn’t have energy to even open his properly. Or again, he gets so shy it’s impossible for him to make a move.

“My heart is yours, that’s what a kiss on the palm means.” Changbin bugs in, yawning.

Chan yelps and Jisung blushes.

Changbin chuckles at them, standing un one elbow and asking for Chan’s hand. He gives it to him, still hesitating and Changbin squeezes it a little before kissing his palm as well.

 _Yes_ , Chan can get a _deeper_ shade of red.

Changbin looks at him, a cocky grin on his face.

“H-how did you…” Chan is so confused. Does it mean what he thinks it does or he’s gone completely nuts?

“It was pretty obvious to me.”

“For me too actually.” Jisung laughs softly.

Chan tries to sit properly and Jisung manhandles him up, helped by Changbin and Chan presses his back on the headboard. Jisung’s bed is bigger than the thought, getting three of them on it perfectly.

“Is it ok?” he clears his throat before speaking but his voice’s still a little rasp.

“That you like us both?” Changbin asks, taking his hand again “Totally.”

“It may sound stupid,” Jisung starts and tries not to smile too much but it’s impossible when Chan looks at him with glassy eyes and hair in every direction, “but me and Changbin were about to become a couple last week.”

“But we didn’t cuz we both thought of you.” Changbin completes. “It’s not ok if you’re not in this, with us.”

“Wait, for real?” Chan bursts out.

“Yep!”

“But it’s ok, no pressure at all. If you want to take your time it’s fine.” Changbin clarifies again.

“What if I want it?” Chan says, looking at them, “like right now? Like, I cannot wait longer…”

“Then brace yourself because Jisung is a kissing machine.” Changbin chuckles.

Jisung blushes at that.

“But again, I want to kiss you too.” He adds, grinning.

“Me too.” Chan whispers.

“ _Please_ Channie,” Jisung almost whines, hands straddling the hem of his shirt, “I like you so much.”

“I do too.” Chan says and dives in, meeting halfway in a kiss.

Changbin looks at it happy. They look so cute. The way Chan almost attacks his lips, hands in his hair and pulling closer.

Chan squeezes Changbin’s hand and he scoops closer and Chan kisses him as well.

“I like you so much, Changbin.”

“Me too, Channie.” Changbin smiles, giving him another peck, this time on the nose.

It could have been easier to just speak? Maybe. But he’s happy he got there in one way or another.

And Jisung’s hands on him are even softer than he thought. And Changbin’s lips sweeter.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really know how to end this so it's not too forced ha ha. Thank you for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Again, kudos and comments are gladly accepted.  
> Here's my [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/Ji_flower)


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